


King Steve of the Buttsnacks

by Midnight_Love_Songs



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Silly, Underage Drinking, and they main zane so all the knights are irish now, i was tipsy when I wrote this, is it really underage drinking if there's no drinking laws in Camelot?, my friend was playing borderlands 3 while i wrote this, to everyone who was hoping for a sequel to my last fic: im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Love_Songs/pseuds/Midnight_Love_Songs
Summary: “Oh, your Majesty!” Lancelot laughed. “Glad you could make it!”“You know I wouldn’t miss it!” Steve watched as the king poured himself two goblets of beer, drinking them one after another. “The weekly cheese-eating contest is my favorite pastime!”“The… wha?” Steve looked to the other knights for help.“Every week, we have a cheese-eating contest,” Galihead explained.“And I am always the winner!” King Arthur laughed, finishing off another beer and wow, he was going fast with those. But here was an opportunity to prove himself to the knights!-or, Steve and King Arthur get into a cheese-eating contest. What happens next may shock you.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	King Steve of the Buttsnacks

Douxie sighed, looking at the children before. Sure, they were good and capable fighters, and he was proud of them, but  _ this?  _ Being transported back to the past, with mere highschoolers? The wizard ran a hand through his hair. 

“Alright,” he started, gaining their attention. “We have been sent back in time. It is  _ very, incredibly, important, _ that we do nothing here that will mess up history.” He emphasised, giving each of the children a point a look. “We have to tread carefully.”

“Alright!”   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
“Sure thing, emo wizard dude.”

Not even three seconds later, Claire was pulling out her phone, showing off some of the pictures of her and her friends to one of the knights. 

“Oh fuzzbuckets,” He muttered, face-palming. They were  _ doomed. _

* * *

Training with the knights was a lot of thing. Exhilarating, fun, terrifying, but mostly eye opening. It really made him realize how much work it took, fighting and trying to help people. And- the others, they’ve put in so much work, to become people who help others. 

He was wholly unprepared for this. It was a bit overwhelming. 

Normally he was the coolest guy around, and the toughest. He wasn’t used to feeling so… weak. Steve would have to work hard to catch up, and become someone who could stand on his own, and help everyone. To become someone worthy of his ninja-kicking angel, and worthy of his best friend. 

And the best way to do that, was to stick with the knights, and learn what he could. 

Which is how he ended up here, drinking with knights of the round tablet. “It’s alright, Palchuck, we’re in Camelot, there’s no legal age for drinking.” Steve muttered, trying to summon the courage to drink the strange smelling beer.

“Oh, ya talking to yerself, boyo? We all been there! A good drink’ll make ya feel right as rain!” The knight laughed heartily, giving Steve a good pat on the back. 

“This yer first drink boyo?” Another knight asked him, and all Steve could do was nod mutely. 

“Aye, e’ryone! This is the boyo’s first ever drink!” The knight shouted, standing up and pulling Steve with him. “Let’s give ‘im a good audience for his first steps into manhood!” He shouted, and the other knights cheered him on, some shouting for him to chug it. 

“Alright Palchuck, it’s time to be a man.” He whispered, before throwing his head and chugging the beer down, some of it escaping past his lips. He gagged after swallowing it, but the knights were too busy shouting and pouring more rounds of drinks. 

“Here’s another one for ya, boyo!” Someone said, shoving another drink into his hands. 

Steve was on his third beer, and starting to feel it, when King Arthur joined them. 

“Oh, your Majesty!” Lancelot laughed. “Glad you could make it!”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it!” Steve watched as the king poured himself two goblets of beer, drinking them one after another before pouring himself another. “The weekly cheese eating contest is my favorite pastime!”

“The… wha?” Steve looked to the other knights for help. 

“Every week, we have a cheese eating contest.” Galihead explained. 

“And I am always the winner!” King Arthur laughed, finishing off another beer and wow, he was going fast with those. But here was an opportunity to prove himself to the knights!

“Oh, yeah? Well not tonight, cause the Palchuck is here, and he’s the best cheese-eater around!” He slammed his drink onto the table, some of the knights ooh-ing.

“Well, why don’t we make this interesting, then?” The king chuckled. “I am willing to place my throne and kingdom on the line, that I can beat you. And you…”

Steve thought for a moment. “My pursuit of knightdom! If you win, I will, uh, become a court jester!” There was a moment of silence, before the table erupted in noise. 

“Alright. We’ve been meaning to get some new entertainment for the court around here anyways.” With a laugh, King Arthur summoned a servant with parchment and quill, writing out the terms of the agreement. Everyone seemed a little antsy, but Steve couldn’t back out now.

“Sign here.” The king pointed, and after he signed, the king stamped it with his royal seal. “Alright, bring forth the royal cheese wheels!” King Arthur shouted, finishing another beer. 

The wheels of cheese were placed in front of each of them, and Steve grinned. Finally, all that time hanging out with Pepperjack would pay off. 

“On you marks, get set, go!” Lancelot shouted, and Steve started to eat like his life depended on it. Which, really, it did. There was no way he could give up being a knight, not when his friends needed. 

Everything else faded to black, it was just Steve and the cheese. He payed no mind to the king, or the knights, eating at fast as he could. Sweat dripped down his brow from the concentration. In what felt like no time at all, his cheese was gone. 

His surroundings came back into focus, and he looked around, everyone staring at him in stunned silence. The king was only half done with his wheel. He won. 

“I won! I won! Woo-hoo! Oh yeah, King Steve of the buttsnacks!.” He stood up on his chair, forcefully taking the crown from King Arthur’s head. Well, not king anymore. Steve looked to the side, and locked eyes with Douxie. His eye was twitching.  _ Oh no. _

“What. Did. I. Say. About. Messing. With. The. Past?” Douxie hissed out at him, looking like he was about to lunge across the room and attack him. 

“Not to mess with the past.” Steve took out his phone, to send Aja one final message. ‘This is my last message. :(‘ It read. 

“And what did you do?” 

“Became the king of the past.” 

  
Douxie groaned, slapping a hand to his face. “Oh, we are  _ so  _ fucked.” As he said this, Douxie grabbed a goblet from one of the knights, drinking it down in one shot.

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! I didn't look too closely for errors, I'm too tipsy and my beta reader is asleep lmao.
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/trans-douxie)


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